A Fallen Soldier
by Lolzisme
Summary: He is a fallen soldier, shredded of his powers. Unable to protect, dwelling in normal scowls and hidden rows. He is Ichigo.
1. 1: I Know

Just a few angst poems of Ichigo's deeper emotions after he lost his powers (Final Getsuga Tensho), a little over-exaggerated and possibly more than OOC, but forgive me:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

_I know_

* * *

I know

This power has left me.

I know

I cannot protect anyone.

Not anymore

Will I be able to rise

A sword gleaming on my back

Weaving the confidence I find

So hard to make now.

I know

This power has left me.

I know

I cannot protect anyone.

What will I say

When I go back

As they welcome me home

As shame fill my veins.

I know

This power has left me.

I know

I cannot protect anyone.

They all pretend that I don't see

They seen through me all along.

I cannot try to fight any longer

For the strong will has gone.

I am but am but a empty soul

Smiling for those unknown.


	2. 2: Make It Go Away

Apologies when they're short. This is a few hours before losing his powers:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

_Make it go away._

* * *

"It is raining."  
The old man said,  
Standing on the pole  
As if it could make it all go away.

"It will last for awhile."  
The malicious boy said,  
Walking on the empty colours  
As if they would come alive once more.

They could only watch the rain  
While the brute hid his pain.  
They could only watch the rain  
While the brute fell apart.

They would fade soon.  
They could only wait.


	3. 3: As You Faded

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

_As you faded_

* * *

As you faded away  
I could only watch  
Unable to say  
Don't. Go.

Should I have said  
Help?  
Should I have said  
Stay?

They have all gone.  
No longer heard  
No longer seen.  
Whispers lost.

But what could I have done?  
Beg for someone to lend  
A hand to myself.  
A arrogant fool.

I forgive you for not seeing  
Through my old facade of hate.  
My stubborn scowl still  
Still on my face.

I have been pulled  
Pulled into the unheard.  
I'm only young.  
I've been breaking down.

Wishing for a normal life  
All I could do was lie  
Pretending I wasn't dying  
Inside this body.

Waiting for you to stay.

But

As you faded

I knew my dreams would never come true.


	4. 4: Even If

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

* * *

_Even If_

* * *

Even if I cannot wield my sword.  
Even if I cannot show my strength.  
Even if I cannot protect you.  
I will stay with you.

{#}

A drop of crimson is all it takes

To know I cannot protect you.

As I watch your lonely figure fall

Only my uncharacteristic scream could show

My silly pain and sorrow.

I thought I would be the one dying

In the midst of this crying war.

When the glass shattered

And blood splattered

I knew I cannot protect you

Even with my last breath.

{#}

Even if I cannot wield my sword.  
Even if I cannot show my strength.  
Even if I cannot protect you.  
I will die for you.

I thought I would be the one in this sorrowful grave.


	5. 5: Unseen and Unheard

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

_Unseen and Unheard_

* * *

He could only walk by

With a single fake smile

Knowing innocent souls died

While he could not see

The simple outline of this tragedy.

Others devoured without a trace

He couldn't see the race to the end.

The roars of the lost

Unheard by the ears of the boy

Who knows he is oblivious.

All he can do is clutch his bag

And walk on.


	6. 6: The Book of Smiles

Disclaimer: I own nothing (Not Bleach, anyway).

* * *

_The Book of Smiles_

* * *

One fake smile

One tight grin.

Two shining eyes

Dimming from within.

Your sorrowful expression

Sprinkled with a douse of scowls.

Acting normal

Dying inside.

A laugh escapes

Pretend it's not your shrill.

Three hearty chuckles

Instead of one empty feeling.

One heart full of life

Shove aside the shell.

Two spoonfuls of love

Pretend it's real and use it to your extent.

Okay?

You are stronger than this.

But for a while

I will give you the Book of Smiles.


	7. 7: The Lonesome Man

Disclaimer: I own nothing (Not Bleach, anyway).

* * *

_The Lonesome Man_

* * *

The lonesome man stood on a cliff

Wondering if life was worth the thrill.

The lonesome man stood on a cliff

Unaware his life may shine

Throughout this dying try.

He could not help a single soul.

He had to watch them fall.

The lonesome man stood on a cliff

Knowing he was better than this.

Turning away with a grimm smile

He will try to continue on in life.


	8. 8: Vengeance

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_Vengeance_

* * *

It wasn't worth

My broken sword.

Bitter, lethal blood

On my tired face.

At times I wonder

If it the smiles was worth

Losing all my power.

It had protected others.

I can't protect anymore.

There's a murmur in my mind

Wishing for perfect vengeance

On those who rely on me

Too. Damn. Much.

It wasn't worth

My broken sword.


	9. 9: I Wonder

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_I Wonder_

* * *

I wonder if you'd have stayed  
Knowing my sight  
Would soon  
Fade.

Would you have watched?  
Selfishly trying  
To hurt  
Me.

The only thing I  
Would do for  
You is stay  
Here.

I only  
Want  
To  
See  
You.


	10. 10: I Can't Accept

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_I Can't Accept_

* * *

I can't accept

You won't be there.

I can accept on the outside

You're gone.

But where no-one can see

Deep in my thoughts

Lost in the thrashing sea

I can't accept

You won't be there.

They won't be there either.

The souls that helped me through

The maze of life.

I can't accept

I've lost it all.


	11. 11: I Had

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Ichigo's flashback to his final fight with Ulquiorra and after that.

* * *

_I Had_

* * *

I had stabbed a sword to his stomach.

I had killed in cold blood.

I had screamed repulsively.

Why do they still forgive me?

It's a thought I shove away

Locking it in a cave of sins.

But there will always be a murmur

Asking them silently

Why do they stay with me?

I had charged into a pointless battle.

I had watched as others died.

I had not done a single thing.

I am a single sin.

Why do they stay with me?


	12. 12: What Am I Looking For?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_What Am I Looking For?_

* * *

What am I looking for?

A damn apology

To make them say sorry

For distancing away.

Bit

By

Bit.

The most loyal of friends

Shying away with tenseness.

As if I'm a burden.

Graceful greetings wiped away

Only my cold stare to say 'hey'.

I don't have any excuses

To barge in on their parades

Just to know they haven't left me behind.

Because they already have.


	13. 13: It Pains Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_It Pains Me_

* * *

It pains me to see

Really

At how much I can lose

Without even knowing.

I'm often surprised

At how defenceless I feel

Without a sword by my side.

My pride is straining

Against locks that I cannot release.

It's hard to remember

All those times I risked my life

Just to save and protect.

What pitying thoughts.

My punches have turned weak

I'm pretty damn meek.

I feel like a mouse in hiding.

Hiding from the outside world.

One day I will get snapped up

In a cat's claws.

I fear

They have already got me.


	14. 14: Without A Word

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_Without a Word_

* * *

Without a word

You run off

Ignoring the empty calls to come back.

I just stare.

It's bothering to know how much

You really do not confide in me.

I was a stubborn and blind fool

Unable to notice how I've been mocked

When I've tried so hard

Just to be able to protect you.

I will not yell or shout

Because we all know

I'm now a useless tool

Rusty and unable to control.

I have been thrown to the curb.

Is that really what I deserve?

Sometimes I think no.

Sometimes I think yes.

Because compared to how many I've slaughtered

There were always one or two that deserved

One more chance.

And I killed them in cold blood

A rage so red I couldn't see.

They had turned afraid of me.


	15. 15: Would It Help?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

* * *

_Would It Help?_

* * *

Would it help

If I stood away from you all

Turning back into a lone wolf

I had forgot to throw away.

Would it help

To keep away with a hidden scowl

As you ran into battles I could

Simply not see.

It truly frustrates me

How easy it had been

For you to distance from me.

Would it help

If I forgot you all?


	16. 16: A Delusional World

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor trying to profit from this.

* * *

_A Delusional World_

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A Delusional World, smothered in the presence of fantasy, only just seen by reality.

It hides in unsuspecting minds with a smile so fine it hurt to see, but they don't see

The true and sickening version of a cruel and cold world with a wolffish grin,

A wolf in sheep's clothing as they like to say.

Many realise this with a sickening crunch and eyes that look so lost,

Filled with doubt, the bonds of trust cut clean by a shadow in the dark.

They won't realise what has happened until the last breath and stutter

And even then they will try to continue on with a broken bottle and smoke

Crawling along so pityingly.

But you only spare a glance.

One glance and it's all ignored once again,

Easier that way as they like to say.

Mocking laughter and sniggering mutters in the crowd you don't see,

But you can hear them with their twisted grins and sharp eyes.

Terrified cries and echoing screams,

Empty whimpers and sad frowns,

But you only spare a glance.

One glance and it's all ignored once again,

Easer that way as they like to say.

A Delusional World, covered in stars and prone to better times, visited by many,

Trying to shove aside the depressing life and bloody wars.

Many like to know it's there.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧


	17. 17: Phoenix

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor trying to profit from this.

* * *

_Phoenix_

* * *

He missed the irritating cackles that screamed in his head.

He missed the deep, warm voice that calmed the hollow in his head.

He missed _them_.

One

Two

Three.

He had thought the consequences

Wouldn't be so painful in his heart.

Three measly seconds

To take away all he knew.

A part if his soul missing

Lurking deep in shadows

Away from him.

Unlike

The pain had never vanished.

It was still there

Shouting and crying

A Phoenix unable to die

Showing how much he stupid he had been.

No wonder they fought to stop him.

Somewhere in his mind whispered

That the last fight they had was one

Where the now missing piece was

Destroying the jigsaw in all it's fury.

He was to blame

For making them

Rip apart the puzzle

He had yet to figure out.


	18. 18: Mother, I send a prayer

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor trying to profit from this.

* * *

_ Mother, I Send a Prayer_

* * *

Mother, I send a prayer.

I am sending a prayer, and have mercy on me

For I am in pain and alone to dull once and for all.

Mother, I send a prayer.

I am sending a prayer, and have mercy on me

For I can can only watch as they disappear from sight,

I am without their light or words of courage to guid me.

Mother, I send a prayer.

I am sending a prayer, and have mercy on me

For I am a lost soldier in battle and a hiding knight

Trying to get out of this frightening cave

But I am having not a single once of achievement.

Mother, I send a prayer.

I am sending a prayer, and have mercy on me

For I am dying alone in this deep, dark hole

Where not a another soul bears to live

With the sake of trying to get out

Because they are just skeletons on a lonely night.

Mother, I send a prayer.

I am sending a prayer, and have mercy in me

For I am burning my skin with torturous sins

As they snigger and murmur among empty shadows

But all I can do is scream a never ending song of resent

And lie with my friend of Death that cries a squeamish smile.

Mother, I send a prayer.

I am sending a prayer, and have mercy on me.


End file.
